


laurel has lots of feelings

by themagnificentquack



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Both literally and figuratively, F/F, I cried while writing this, but it was like 4am so my judgment was a little off, but the ending is positive, it's sad and a little heartbreaking at times, laurel runs from her feelings, poor laurel has so many feelings she doesn't know how to deal with, really so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24894556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themagnificentquack/pseuds/themagnificentquack
Summary: i don't even know man.it's like season 6 or 7 i don't really know the difference.sweet laurel has a lot of feelings like a lot a lot a lot and dinah is hurt and angry so she takes advantages of laurels a lot a lot a lot feelings but then she's like wait i actually feel guilty do i care about this person? then she's like fuck laurel's rly hot but laurel's like yea ur hot too but also im in love with u
Relationships: Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance
Comments: 9
Kudos: 32





	laurel has lots of feelings

**Author's Note:**

> don't expect a lot from this one

Laurel threw a punch at her enemy, but The Canary caught it, (what an asshole). She tried to hit her with a cry, but the aggravating bitch of a woman dodged it and pushed her up against the wall. god, Black Canary made so so incredibly angry and-

-they were kissing.

All of the fight drained out of Laurel and she let her fists relax and drop to rest on Dinah's shoulders. 

How could she have not known that for years this exact feeling had been what she'd been missing, what she'd been searching for. 

The answer was never drugs or alcohol or violence. It was here, with the woman she thought she hated. Kissing Dinah made her feel something finally, god, she'd forgotten what feelings felt like. She was alive once again she was...

Fuck.

She knew that feeling.

Cold metal brushed up against her neck. It was the only warning she got before the air rushed out of her lungs are her cry was stolen from her. Laurel's knees buckled from the unexpected loss, tearing her lips away from Dinah's.

Dinah stood up straight, completely unaffected, unaware that everything had just changed for Laurel. 

She could feel again. She felt like she was suffocating under the weight of it all. Somehow it still felt beautiful.

Dinah drew her fist back with a crazed look in her eyes. She was incredibly gorgeous. How had Laurel not realized it before?

She hadn't been able to like Dinah before. There had only been anger. But, god, she liked her now. It took her breath away. 

"This is for Vinny," Dinah said. Laurel could barely hear it over the roaring in her ears, but when Dinah's fist plunged into her stomach she sure as hell felt it. 

Her instincts for self-preservation cut through the tsunami of emotions she was experiencing and she stumbled to her feet. 

Dinah opened her mouth and there was no time for Laurel to do anything but tense in anticipation before she was thrown across the room by Dinah's cry. 

She landed on her back. It was painful, but she could tell she wasn't seriously injured.

Still, she had to get out of here. Sort through the fact that for some reason tears were welling up in her eyes. Something was going on with her chest too. She'd always thought heartbreak was bullshit, but she felt it now, a deep ache that she couldn't get rid of. 

Dinah hated her. Dinah didn't love her and she never would. Laurel was completely fucking heartbroken. 

Dinah came after her, stalking forward like a lion to its prey, nothing but anger in her eyes. 

And Laurel ran. 

She stumbled through the warehouse, shoving over shelves as she went; anything to slowly the painfully beautiful woman she had to escape. 

Laurel crashed through the door and gasped in shock as she was buffeted by a freezing cold gust of wind. She could feel the tears on her cheeks cooling rapidly. 

She hurried over to the first car she saw and smashed through the window to get to the lock, cursing as she cut her hand on the jagged glass. 

She hopped in and hot-wired the car, hands shaking with anxiety and pain. Mostly pain. 

The engine roared to life just as Dinah burst out of the building. Laurel escaped with seconds to spare, ripping of the sonic dampener and throwing it out the broken window as she peeled out of the parking lot. 

She wouldn't let herself break until she got to her apartment. She clenched her jaw and forced the tears back the whole ride home, and checked every inch of her apartment to make sure no one was lying in wait. Only once she was sure she was alone did Laurel allow the tears to fall. 

She collapsed onto her bed and a broken moan of despair turned into a sob. It wasn't long before she lost herself to the tears. 

Only sleep stopped the outpouring of emotion. She had no idea how long she cried for before her body surrendered to rest. It could have been hours, or only a few moments. Her mind was unable to process anything beyond how much she felt for Dinah, and how little Dinah felt for her. And how badly it all hurt. 

\--------

Laurel woke up at the loud creak of her front door being opened. She froze, ears pricked. 

A second creak confirmed that there was an intruder and Laurel slipped carefully out of bed, heart pounding. She crept across her room to stand flat against the wall next to her door, waiting to surprise whoever was outside. 

There were no crashes, or sounds of movement, so this wasn't a robbery. Whoever was here was here for her. 

The floor didn't creak again, giving Laurel no hints to the location of the intruder. Clearly she needed to place the loose floorboards more strategically. 

She almost started in surprise when her bedroom door opened silently. 

She acted on instinct, catching the stranger in a choke hold, her grip like iron against their throat. Her face was pressed into curly hair as they struggled and she smelled shampoo. Orange and... vanilla maybe?

Oh, god. 

Dinah. 

She stumbled back, hitting the wall in her desperate attempt to get as far away from Dinah as possible. 

Her arm had been against Dinah's throat. Her face buried in soft hair. The details of what Dinah's body felt like against hers were already slipping away. If only she'd held on a little longer. 

It felt like there was a balloon expanding in her chest, threatening to pop. She felt so much. Too much. She had to get the hell out of there. 

She reached for the door but Dinah closed it with enough force to shake the frame, barely missing Laurel's fingers. 

"Stop. Running." she growled. 

Laurel shuddered at her tone of voice. 

She couldn't stop running. If she did, feelings like the swelling balloon in her chest and the heat in her gut would catch up to her. 

She wanted to stay though. It might be worth it for just one more second with Dinah. But no, no. She couldn't. She'd just get her heart broken. Again. 

Before she could find an alternate escape- maybe jump out a window- Dinah flicked on the light. 

They stared at each other for a moment. Laurel didn't let herself get lost in Dinah's eyes. She pulled a mask over her face and pulled out every shred of emotion. It wasn't enough. 

"Have you been crying?" Dinah asked carefully. 

Laurel drew in a sharp breath. The reminder alone brought back the pain in her chest and she felt like crying all over again. Tears filled her eyes and she turned swiftly. She was leaving herself open to attack, but she couldn't let Dinah see her cry. 

Her whole body was wracked with violent sobs, but she kept her mouth firmly shut, unwilling to let any sound escape. 

Why couldn't Dinah just love her? A whimper escaped at the thought. 

Laurel tensed as she felt Dinah's hand on her shoulder. The sparks that erupted across her bare skin distracted her and Laurel lost control over her tears. 

A sob tore out of her throat, and then another, and she couldn't stop it now. 

Dinah turned her aroud with a gentle pressure on her shoulder, and pulled her into an awkward hug. It only made Laurel cry harder. 

She relaxed into Dinah's embrace so quickly. She couldn't resist her because she loved her, she wanted her, she loved her. 

Dinah stood there, stiff as a board, as Laurel sobbed in her arms. 

If only Laurel wasn't a villain. If only she wasn't a killer. If she wasn't a monster. Maybe then Dinah would love her. 

Trapped in her heartbreak, Laurel couldn't stop herself from whispering, "I wish you loved me." 

Dinah pulled away. 

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "The kiss wasn't okay, I get that. I didn't realize you felt... that." 

Dinah hesitated for a couple of moments before saying, "I'm still going to have to take you in." The guilt in her voice was obvious. 

"Lay with me," Laurel murmured. "Please."

Dinah paused. "Laurel-"

"I'm about to spend the rest of my life alone in a cramped box," Laurel interrupted. 

Dinah still didn't move. She didn't want to do this, Laurel thought. Didn't want to touch her, be close to her. She hated Laurel, felt disgusted by her.

Her voice was broken when Laurel said, "Just five minutes, please."

Dinah said nothing and avoided eye contact as she laid down on the bed, pulling Laurel with her. 

Laurel laid her head against Dinah's chest and wrapped her arm around Dinah's body. She was shocked when she felt Dinah begin to card her fingers gently through her hair. 

She released a shuddering breath at the sensation and allowed her eyes to flutter shut. 

\---------

Laurel woke up slowly.

Dinah's hand had fallen from her hair to her shoulder. Her touch was so gentle Laurel could cry. 

Now would be a good time to run. To slip away before Dinah made good on her promise to lock Laurel up. She should escape. She had to. 

She didn't move.

Sunlight filtered in through the window onto Dinah's face. 

Laurel allowed herself to really look at Dinah. To study her in a way she would be too afraid to do if the other woman was awake. 

Her gaze drifted across Dinah's brow, down the gentle curve of her jaw. She was so beautiful it hurt. 

Dinah's eyes blinked open, perhaps sensing Laurel's eyes on her. Laurel tried to look away, but she wasn't fast enough. 

"Sorry," she said quietly, avoiding eye contact. 

Dinah yawned and moved her arm away from Laurel's shoulder. 

"You didn't run," she commented. 

Laurel didn't reply. She was trying to hold onto the last couple of seconds they had left. It was all over. She didn't want it to be over. 

Dinah shifted and Laurel had no choice but to get up. 

She stared at her feet and pushed back the tears that threatened to build up again as Dinah called the Flash.

She looked up as Dinah hung up the phone. The Flash would be here any second. This was it. 

Dinah stepped forward and pressed the softest of kisses to her cheek. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

Laurel rested a hand against Dinah's jaw for a moment, and closed her eyes. 

Then she was gone. 

\---------

Dinah felt worse about locking Laurel up than she thought she would. It had been three weeks and Laurel's tear-stained face was still stuck in her brain. 

She was terrified when she got a message from Barry. 

She held it up to her ear and heard: "Hey, Dinah. I know you told me to pay special attention to Black Siren but she hasn't tried to escape once. Not sure if you care, but she has been crying a lot. Like a lot a lot. Anyway, gotta go. Call me back." 

Dinah put down the phone and rubbed her temples. God, what had she done. 

\----------

Laurel laid on the floor of her cell and stared up at the ceiling. She'd been doing a lot of that lately. Well, that and crying. 

It had to stop hurting eventually. She didn't know much about heartbreak, but she knew it couldn't be like this forever. 

She repeated that to herself when the pain got really bad. 

Suddenly she was moving. Her glass cage moved away from the wall and slid smoothy into place against the repurposed machine. The outer door opened, leaving only glass. 

Dinah was walking towards her. 

Every step she took, the uncomfortable, guilty look on her face, it all put new fractures into the break in Laurel's heart. 

"Please don't," she whispered.

Dinah kept coming closer.

"Please don't," Laurel said loudly, backing into the corner of the cage. 

The pity on Dinah's face killed her. 

"I can't do this," Laurel said. "I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this." 

Dinah opened the glass door and walked in, closing it behind her. 

Laurel's breathing quickened. 

Dinah was there, and so was so beautiful, and Laurel loved her so painfully much. 

She struggled at first when Dinah pulled her into a tight hug. 

It wasn't real, and Dinah didn't love her and- 

It all got to be too much and Laurel collapsed into Dinah's strong arms, sobbing once again. 

Dinah maneuvered them to sit on the ground together and Laurel cried until she couldn't anymore, until she was too tired to feel the crater in her heart. 

Finally she said, "You can't keep doing this to me Dinah."

"I'm sorry," Dinah replied. 

Laurel leaned her head against Dinah's shoulder. She hadn't seen another person in three weeks. Dinah owed her at least this much. 

"It's not your fault," she murmured. "You don't have to feel guilty for not loving me." 

She looked up to make sure Dinah got the message, and saw a strange expression on her face. 

Dinah leaned in and carefully fit their lips together. 

There was a swooping sensation in Laurel's stomach and butterflies replaced the heartache. 

She knit her fingers in Dinah's hair and ran her tongue across her lips just like she'd imagined doing. 

Dinah moaned as she opened her mouth to let Laurel in. Actually moaned. It was the best sound Laurel had ever heard. 

She pushed Dinah up against the wall to get leverage as their tongues danced together. 

The moans mixed together now, quiet and needy and- 

Dinah would never love her. 

Laurel pulled away and backpedaled quickly as the thought stole into her brain and stung her eyes with tears. 

"I like you," Dinah said. "I just-" 

"You just don't love me," Laurel said. 

Dinah hung her head. 

"Please stop doing this," Laurel whispered. 

Dinah left silently. 

Laurel tucked her knees up and rested her head in her hands. She was too tired to cry. 

\---------

Dinah waited four days before calling Barry to ask about Laurel. 

He hesitated before asking, "Would she be a danger to anyone if I let her out?"

Dinah paused. "I don't think so," she said finally. "Why?" 

Barry sighed. "She hasn't cried since you visited. She's just... broken. Incarceration doesn't feel like the best option here."

Broken. Dinah broke her. 

"Do whatever you think is best," Dinah said. Then she hung up, her breathing heavy. 

\----------

Laurel was let out of the cage a handful of days after Dinah visited. The Flash ran her back to Star City then left without saying a word. 

She wanted to see Dinah. It physically hurt, being away from her. She knew seeing her would hurt more. 

Laurel spent a few days sleeping in empty apartments and stealing form people who annoyed her before she gave in. She laid for hours on the expensive bed previously owned by a drug dealer she had scared off. No matter what she did, she couldn't get to sleep. Her thoughts kept drifting back to Dinah.

She left the house and got on the bus without thinking. It was only once she got to Dinah's apartment that the nerves started to kick in. She knocked on the door before she could change her mind. 

It took a few minutes but eventually a tall attractive man with dark hair and olive skin opened the door. Sweat coated his hairline, and he was dressed only in boxers. 

Despite the fact that he'd clearly just been interrupted, he greeted her with a cheerful smile and a half wave. 

"Hi," he said. "I'm Amir." 

"Hey..." Laurel replied hesitantly. "I'm sorry, I thought this was Dinah Drake's apartment." 

"Oh it is," he said. "Do you want me to go get her?" 

Laurel's heart sank as she realized exactly what she had just stumbled upon.

"Oh," she said quietly. "No, no please don't." 

The balloon was back, expanding larger than her heart could take. 

"Who is it?" A voice that was unmistakably Dinah's called. 

A lump formed in Laurel's throat at the undeniable proof that Dinah was sleeping with this man. Of course, she didn't owe Laurel a damn thing, and Amir seemed sweet. It still hurt so much. 

Footsteps padded over to the door. 

"I'm gonna go," Laurel said. 

She didn't wait for acknowledgment before she sprinted down the hallway. She heard Dinah call her name but she didn't stop. 

She heard Dinah's footsteps behind her as she hurried down flight after flight of steps. 

She didn't realize she had no where to go until she was out on the sidewalk. 

She paused for a moment, unsure of what to do, and Dinah caught up to her and grabbed her by the arm. 

Laurel turned and instantly regretted it when she realized Dinah was dressed only in underwear and an almost see through white t-shirt. 

Her face flushed red and desire coiled like a snake in her gut. 

She closed her eyes so she wouldn't look, and when she opened them she focused on a point over Dinah's left shoulder. 

"Don't you feel guilty about this," she said. "You don't owe me a thing." 

"If you believe that then why won't you look at me?" Dinah asked. 

Laurel glanced down to meet Dinah's eyes but her gaze betrayed her, flickering down to where Dinah's nipples were visible through her shirt. God how she wanted to touch them, to rub them, to lick them and suck them into her mouth until Dinah squirmed underneath her. 

She almost moaned out loud at the thought but she kept a tight lid on it, and returned her gaze to the point over Dinah's shoulder. 

"Look at me," Dinah said, confused.

"I can't," Laurel replied, her voice strained.''

"What is going on? Why not?" Dinah asked. 

"I am so attracted to you right now that I can hardly breathe," Laurel said evenly. 

To her surprise, Dinah chuckled. 

"Oh yea, you can see my tits through this shirt can't you?" she asked, in what Laurel assumed was a rhetorical question. 

She took a step forward, entering Laurel's space. 

"You want them in your mouth don't you," she whispered hotly into Laurel's ear. 

Laurel whimpered in response. 

She gasped in surprise when Dinah bit down gently on the lobe of her ear. 

"What are you doing?" she whispered. 

"I want you," Dinah murmured in response, kissing her way down Laurel's jaw.

As much as she hated it, Laurel pulled away.

"Look," she said. "I can't do this whole 'just sex' thing. Not with you. So you have to decide if you're capable of having something real with me even after what I did. If you can't that's fine, just, let me know when you've figured it out." 

Laurel picked a direction and turned away from Dinah. Her heart hurt more with every step she took. 

\-----------

Laurel spent the next few days stealing money to buy an apartment. It was barely furnished, and the bathroom sink was broken, but it was good enough for now. She didn't intend to stay on this earth much longer. As much as it would hurt, she couldn't be around Dinah anymore. 

She knew Dinah wouldn't want a relationship with her. It was inevitable. She simply had to wait. 

Dinah texted after three days. They met at Laurel's new apartment. 

She apologized a lot, and said she really did like Laurel, she just couldn't get over how Laurel killed Vince. 

Laurel nodded and showed her out. She didn't cry. She was done crying. 

Instead, she left behind a note and walked through a portal to Earth-2.

\----------

She got over Dinah slowly, and then all at once. Maybe it was the haircut, or the mantle, but one day it just stopped hurting. 

And then Crisis came. 

She was back in mourning but this not for a broken heart but for lost life. Billions, just gone. 

She had no one. 

So, one day, she walked up to Dinah and re-introduced herself. Told her who she was now instead of who she used to be. Someone worth falling for. 

It didn't take long for Dinah to agree.


End file.
